Resistance♥

Monday, November 30, 2009

first time having exam on my birthday!
great! =/
its doesnt bring me any luck though.....
the entire paper, im speehless...
heart rate constant, pulse rate constant and everything constant....
no feelings for anything....
also dunno what expression to give....
was writing crap all the way...
wrote crap but still chasing for time too!
so never really complete..
never get to review my craps...
so i produced crappppsss...
but whatever!
1 more paper left and i be free to swim, to sing to catch movies, to slack and to crap!!!
cant wait for that moment to arrive!!!
soon ! soon!!! on wed!!!
so now chiong for the last paper!!

thanks again for those well-wishes!!!! appreciated!!! =D
oh yeah,
after exam.... mushroom has come up with several lame stuffs..
probably because after the 4 papers that made her haywired. hahahaha... jk..
one of them was indeed really lame...
mushroom gave me 1 min to decide if i want a cake.
and i said no.....
then guess what she added, ......." hurry, u are left with 59 secs to decide to have the cake."
yeah it was indeed lame...
because i was like a moment of silent before i could realise it =x
thanks arh!!!!! appreciate lots even though its damn lame....
probabaly u could try it again after wed exam.
i could react a diff way... hahahax!

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

5:09 PM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

After being so panicky yesterday, afraid that i could not finish studying physio because thurs is the exam and i have yet completed 1 chapter.... grr.... plus i still dont really understand how the kidney really works...
its so damn demoralising and scary!
at the same time, im seriously lethagic, totally deprived of sleep...
due to the CPR course which cause me to wake up so early plus both the theory and practical are trying to get a share of my brain juice despite its already scarce.
oh dear....
and so yesterday didnt stay in school late to study...
instead, i went home with subway for dinner and watch " daddy at home" and then went to sleep...
sounds as if im not having an exam hur...
but wrong man!!!
i woke up at 3 am to start study till now...and i finally finish!!!
speed studying...
but of coz with understanding... if not its not called studying....
thank goodness renal is the only one chapter that we didnt touch in CA1....
or else how fast speed studying is, cannot even help me...
erm yeah...i just felt really relieved that i finish studying and i understood what i didnt understood in CA1... lol...
" i saw the light..."
probably because seeing it a second time and after exposing to all chapters,
i get a clearer picture of how physiology works... just like how anatomy is.
not hoping, but its a must that tml i will be able to attempt those qns....
if not there will be no hope, seeing my CA1 result -.-'''
ok, gonna search for mcqs to attempt them....
and must ensure i sleep early tonight...
because there will be no more chances for excuse that im tired....
and yea!!! not to be late.... must seriously ensure myself that...

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

5:04 PM

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Finally!!!
finally i finish studying anatomy...
but i hope i do remember all my stuffs till sat when the exam ends....
need to recap recap recap!!!!
but i going to concentrate english and probably start contem tml...
if not my contem will be sure die....
so many chapters but only 1.5 days to study....
somemore i haven even touch anything on it ever since i took up this module...
die!!!!.....

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

4:03 AM

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

i think im so addicted to using lappie...
one day never use will die..
so i rush to finish what i intend to revise and come online at 3.33 am...
even though i expected there will be no one to chat with online at this time, i somehow hope to have someone to chat with me... cause im going crazy, everyday facing the book and everything comes from my mouth are just biological terms!
and im BORED!!!!
and... my 6th sense told me that today die die also must come online....
when i came online, the first thing i saw was to check RESULTS!!!
omg...
suddenly my heart was thumping damn fast....
until i saw the result for anatomy, my jaw " dropped"...
was disappointed....was sad... not because i failed...but i didnt even reach the average median marks...
but after much thought, i guess it should be expected...
how many pharmacy are there???
naturally, the avergae median will be brought up )=
and it was soon neutralised by the lab result...
despite knowing i will pass, but my heart is still thumping when i was finding for my matric no....and also i think i didnt trust myself enough, im an objective person whom i need to see evidence that i pass....
the overall process from the time i punch the nus link till i saw my results, only have 4 characters to describe, " 晴天霹藶!"....
hmmm....
my curiosity naturally makes me scroll to see how many fail for lab...
congrats! because there is only 1...
but the 1 i think it was unexpected...
im wondering why...
not anything... im just concerned...really....
hmmm....
btw, i have gotten into the mood of studying now....
need to seriously buck up if i really want to aim for scholarship...
if not i will have to throw myself somewhere i dislike... because i really need it....
seeing my mum worrying everyday, makes me feel that i ought to do sth about it because i can if i work hard....
ok, lets all work hard for the exams!!!!
then i go enjoy with no regrets....

Status: tired and want to slp now... but just hated myself for not being able to wake up in the morning... by the time i wake up everyday, halfday is gone... is like 2 pm!!!! omg!!! and of coz im left with so little time for studying...and my speed of studying is suppperrr sloooowww..... i need to read sth so many times before i can process into my puny brain and to pen it down.... grrr!!!!

And to vic: since i cant tag ur blog and i really want to say sth... " Pain is inevitable but suffering is avoidable..."

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

3:32 AM

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Most people have their birthday celebration less grand as they grow up....
while mine was just the opposite.
as i grew up, i had more birthday celebrations and more high ones plus with more friends...
and im really fortunate to have met alot of people in my uni life, which i didnt expected to...
they are really awesome people whom i can have fun with, can chat with, chiong together with...
really appreciate today's celebration.... thanks alot!!!!
i know im going to have an enjoyable & memorable memories in uni.

And finally, the skills assessment is finally over...
and i just gotten sth which i wasnt confident in and i didnt practice much for...
but when comes to such crisis, it was for u to decide - to pass or not to pass...
it didnt matter anymore if u had alot of practice for the skills...
it all boils down to calm, confident in urself and then go through a process of thinking... making sure what u do comes with a rationale... AND U WILL BE RIGHT!
making a small mistake shant override your major steps...
and finally, im done with the assessment.
there are many other more battle to conquer next!!!
3 weeks of exam period + an assignment which will be due in no time...
im just so looking forward for all these to be over...
so there will be clinical attachment, many chill-out sessions and time spent under the sun!
before everything, lets us all do our best & leave no regrets. (:

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

12:16 AM

Friday, November 13, 2009

DEJA VU!!!
"feelings are secret" (mushroom, 2009).
how true it is...
im seriously afraid rumous....
and i really wish that history doesnt repeat itself...
because i had a tough time getting out of it...
it really hurts me lots even till now....
i was reminiscing the past on my way home and reflecting the present....
a rumour will really break a friendship in a blink of an eye.
even how long and how close a friendship has been...
it will really be a deep regret marked in the chapter of my life.
i cannt never forget how it happened, the entire process for many years and how i went through it....
its really not easy....
and i seriously don want the same thing to happen again...
i have several years more to go..... and may even in the future....
if it is true, time shall decide...
if it isnt true, not even a single second is given and it even kills...
that is how scary it is...
so please.... -.-

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

12:25 AM

Thursday, November 12, 2009

there is only "rush" that could describe my entire day.

i just felt that i walked up and down the sch, from place to place, constantly at a fast speed...

and i never manage to stay at a place for long....

for the entire day, i just felt lethargic rushing from place to place, and i think my brain was not functioning fast enough to follow the speed of my legs...

hence, basically im walking around with an empty scull today....

i just wasnt right in the mind today....

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

9:09 PM

Saturday, November 07, 2009

It is actually not what it seemed to be.

What a failure am i....

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

10:36 PM

Friday, November 06, 2009

just back from the halfday field trip to the hospital we will be attached to!
and mine is ST. Luke hospital.
so damn cool and exciting for me...
hahaa, the first work place is so near to my hse.
a 5 minutes walk and u will reach...
hahahaa, maybe GOD knows that im always late =x

ok, anyway... the field trip was much better than i expected.
i thot that it will be difficult for me to communicate with the patient..
but in the end i got easily into their topics....
A healthcare profession can do everything perfectly for the patient but without engagement to know more about their background, their needs, their worries and their behaviour, all efforts be futile in the end.
so ENGAGEMENT is very important....
i feel that i really need to brush up my hokkien....
before i can think about other languages to pick up.
then we had a tour around the hospital.
guess i need to get a while to get familiar with how the structure of the hospital organised.
lol, i nearly lost my way....
also, after donning the uniform, i began to like the uniform...
hahah i don mind wearing for lab sessions =x
but i may be just too lazy to iron....

ok, this weekend im gonna be occupied...
have to stay overnight at HQ tonight for tml amazing race...
but now im already tired =/

anyway, im excited for this coming attachment =p
ok, gtg take a rest... if not i wont be able to survive the night.

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

3:08 PM

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Despite the stressful assignment we initially had to rush for and have to scarifice many hours of sleep, im still happy this week....
continuous laughing and chatting happily with my friends...
time passes really fast this week...
not only fun, joy but also sweetness...
its been a while i had this kind of feeling.
and initally i thought it was just illusion, just some form of sensitive and perhaps some form of thinking too deep into things.
perhaps im not afterall....
it may be true...
is it becoming more obvious that even others notice?
all the words he spoke, the actions he potrayed.... just cant let me stop thinking about it.
as each day passes by, it is getting more obvious.
but sometimes, i just cant help to deny...
because in a day,
i may just feel that i am thinking too much...
but before the day ends,
it never fails to give me the thought again.
im really curious to know the answer...
at the same time, i don wish to know but continue as it is....
i love the thrill,
i love the game of hypothesis,
i love investigating,
i just love guessing...
and of coz the type of feeling.
because i just know.... if it remain as it is, it will continue furthur....
but if there is a change, im afraid... i just have to be prepared as it may be a signal of letting go...

Let nature takes it own course.

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

9:52 PM