Biography (^00^)

My name is Suhui, have a nicknamed called porkysu. simply because i like pigs and i think this name rhymes well. if u do not talk to me, you will think im cool and quiet. okie, but in fact im super chatty like a chatterbox and i love to laugh. my friends say i have a "auntie" behaviour! haha.. thats rather subjective. but anyway, im a great-listener other than a a chatter box! i love many cool stuffs and my defination of cool is a subset of unique. hahax!

B'dae: 30th Nov, sagattarius!

New Year Resolutions: To improve my CAPs but at the same time FYP! ^^

bold underlined strikethrough italic

★ Entertainment ★

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Oink Oink~ ~ ~

preferred maximum width to be 200px.

♥ My Piglets ♥

Bao Ru

Celeste

Cha Yee

Huda

Jie Vee

Lina

Mahmudah

Marilyn

Mrs M

Mushroom

Victor

Xia Xue

History of Porky <<<

Are you sure you want to turn back the time and read about my past?

♥ October 2005
♥ November 2005
♥ December 2005
♥ January 2006
♥ February 2006
♥ April 2006
♥ May 2006
♥ July 2006
♥ August 2006
♥ February 2008
♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ September 2008
♥ October 2008
♥ November 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ January 2010
♥ February 2010
♥ March 2010
♥ April 2010
♥ May 2010
♥ June 2010
♥ July 2010
♥ August 2010
♥ October 2010
♥ November 2010
♥ December 2010
♥ April 2011
♥ May 2011
♥ June 2011
♥ September 2011
♥ December 2011

Creditorials

NEVER REMOVE THIS SECTION!

Layout Designer:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others:
♥ ♥ ♥

Friday, May 23, 2008

All this while i had this feeling with me...
it is only this feeling that fits in all different situations that i encountered with nowadays.
just the feel of, " can't bear to let go" or should i say " miss"?
its this feeling that has been bothering me all along...
just so bothered that it oftens keep my thoughts miles away....
its rather distracting...eh..

First, NCDCC?
often i ask myself, if i had chosen the wrong time to attend the course..
just felt like there is not much things accomplished by me..
and things seemed to be hanging...not really being settled.
feel so guilty that most of the time especially later of this yr,
i wont be able to commit and serve much...
just because i have my piority in preparing for A's just have to come first....
i just cant bear to let go the rooted relations i have for my " kids" since we have gone through a few months together.....
as mentioned earlier on in the previous post, the problem of myself: i have to make sure i complete tasks that i started out with.
just found that i have not achieve in developing my senior cadets furthur....
i simply cant let go of the things i have not achieve and stop my duties like that...
my soul seems to be there...
my mind is constantly thinking of how should i improve furthur...blah blah...
just felt so empty....
one thing that make me feel satisfied about was what ms bong said to me....
" i admire how u are firm and also bring the message forward to the sec 1s without the feel of like scolding them...."...u need to help me pass this on to the sec 3s....
i wanted but time and effort restricted me....
felt so guilty for leaving...
felt so empty....
felt so " cant bear to"
i will miss u all.....i will be back...
.
.
.
.
.
Next, is about him....
i have got no idea what true feelings i have for him....
maybe its just admiring bahs...
but it don seemed to be so...
at the same time, its not the kind of it...
quite a contradiction.
dunno when did it started...
im always distracted by looking at the "environment" at all times, once i reach school...
my neck will be stretching as long like Ostrich just to keep a lookout for him.
my eyes will be as bright and large to see his presence anywhere near...
my heart will be expecting to feel his presence anywhere and anytime.
my soul seems to be flying around searching for him...
sometimes, there are disappointing moments while there are times what i hoped for came true...
whats more amusing is...it always appear unexpectedly...
what a seconds moment of surprise and happiness.
sometimes i just wish that time would stop.
many of times, pictures of him flashes back into mind.
sometimes, i found myself too obsessed into the impossibilites but i just cant let go.
there's one time when....
i did not see him which i always do in the morning...
many questions popped into my head...
where is he?
what happen?why never come school?
his late???
or his sick??
my worries ended until i saw him in.....
why would i be so concerned????...
i cant fall furthur....
and today, just felt so moody not because of that evil zhi hong...
its because....i never get to see him the whole day....
despite, creating many opportunites for myself...sob sob...
afterall, i just realise i cant let go...
i cant bear to, in fact...initially when i wanted, i melted once i saw him again...
oh my....
haix....and now its already june holiday...no chance....
after june holiday.......prepare A's.......END OF YR!!!
so fast...means no chance anymore...
just enjoy and appreciate the present....
.
.
.
.
sigh~~