Resistance♥

Saturday, May 31, 2008

haha...so happy today...

i finally mastered EQUILIBRIUM!!!

next topic to go soon....

cant wait to go to school on monday,

holding a glimpse of hope to see him...lol...

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

7:48 PM

Friday, May 30, 2008

haven been blogging for long...been rather busy lately, despite the fact that it is holiday now...
every morning, went to school to settle library stuffs...
and i don have the time to settle my homework as yet...
and today, we finally finish our biggest project...OH YEA, FINALLY!!!
im quite satisfied and happy with the end result though...
at least finally i did something for the library.... hee =)

ok after today, we decided to form a library study group...
and of course, we had a pro to teach us...
counting on you to teach me le eh...haha...thanks alot too for the effort...haha...
yeah, its time to face the music of the chemistry topics i not sure of...
its definitely not a time to display procrastination....
hope thati can cover as much and digest as much during this june holiday...
argh!!!...the thought of tests and exams coming up irritates and tense me...

many people has also ask me to go for this and that...
but so sorry, have to reject everything..
since im the sort of:
1. slow absorber...
2. slacker...
3. no long-attention spent...
4. easily distracted...
so, i have to reject and restrict myself from attending any fun activities...
or else, even after im back it will take a while for me to stabilise my heart and soul...
next year maybe bahx...since i promised!

hmm....
also these photos should have been upload long ago but just don't have the mood to do so...
since i'm here...doing it once and for all...
its taken when we went out to celebrate steffi's birthday...

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

12:13 AM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

another sat is gone....
did not do anything much since i spent half of my day sleeping...
woke up at 5pm...never break record la..
since my latest is 6.30pm =x...
maybe should join some sleeping competition...
see how im deprived of sleep...
i have no motivation to start studying still...
maybe will start on next week after i clear my pig sty...
its so messy....no place to study...
haha~
.
.
.
ok, gonna sleep le...since tml i have to go out...
hope i will not be late...which i always do... =x

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

2:02 AM

Friday, May 23, 2008

All this while i had this feeling with me...
it is only this feeling that fits in all different situations that i encountered with nowadays.
just the feel of, " can't bear to let go" or should i say " miss"?
its this feeling that has been bothering me all along...
just so bothered that it oftens keep my thoughts miles away....
its rather distracting...eh..

First, NCDCC?
often i ask myself, if i had chosen the wrong time to attend the course..
just felt like there is not much things accomplished by me..
and things seemed to be hanging...not really being settled.
feel so guilty that most of the time especially later of this yr,
i wont be able to commit and serve much...
just because i have my piority in preparing for A's just have to come first....
i just cant bear to let go the rooted relations i have for my " kids" since we have gone through a few months together.....
as mentioned earlier on in the previous post, the problem of myself: i have to make sure i complete tasks that i started out with.
just found that i have not achieve in developing my senior cadets furthur....
i simply cant let go of the things i have not achieve and stop my duties like that...
my soul seems to be there...
my mind is constantly thinking of how should i improve furthur...blah blah...
just felt so empty....
one thing that make me feel satisfied about was what ms bong said to me....
" i admire how u are firm and also bring the message forward to the sec 1s without the feel of like scolding them...."...u need to help me pass this on to the sec 3s....
i wanted but time and effort restricted me....
felt so guilty for leaving...
felt so empty....
felt so " cant bear to"
i will miss u all.....i will be back...
.
.
.
.
.
Next, is about him....
i have got no idea what true feelings i have for him....
maybe its just admiring bahs...
but it don seemed to be so...
at the same time, its not the kind of it...
quite a contradiction.
dunno when did it started...
im always distracted by looking at the "environment" at all times, once i reach school...
my neck will be stretching as long like Ostrich just to keep a lookout for him.
my eyes will be as bright and large to see his presence anywhere near...
my heart will be expecting to feel his presence anywhere and anytime.
my soul seems to be flying around searching for him...
sometimes, there are disappointing moments while there are times what i hoped for came true...
whats more amusing is...it always appear unexpectedly...
what a seconds moment of surprise and happiness.
sometimes i just wish that time would stop.
many of times, pictures of him flashes back into mind.
sometimes, i found myself too obsessed into the impossibilites but i just cant let go.
there's one time when....
i did not see him which i always do in the morning...
many questions popped into my head...
where is he?
what happen?why never come school?
his late???
or his sick??
my worries ended until i saw him in.....
why would i be so concerned????...
i cant fall furthur....
and today, just felt so moody not because of that evil zhi hong...
its because....i never get to see him the whole day....
despite, creating many opportunites for myself...sob sob...
afterall, i just realise i cant let go...
i cant bear to, in fact...initially when i wanted, i melted once i saw him again...
oh my....
haix....and now its already june holiday...no chance....
after june holiday.......prepare A's.......END OF YR!!!
so fast...means no chance anymore...
just enjoy and appreciate the present....
.
.
.
.
sigh~~

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

10:50 PM

Monday, May 19, 2008

im pretty bored now,
waiting for my mum to prepare dinner..soo...
i ended up doing this quiz..
so how well does it describes me???hmmm...

What Lee Su Hui Means

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

i found it 80% accurate in fact though i dont really believe in this sort of stuffs eh...
haha, at least it gives me a guage to know myself better now...hmm

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

7:42 PM

bored~~~ until im at loss...

dunno what im doing these few days...

just feeling lethargic and restless....

gonna rot at home soon~~~~

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

7:23 PM

Hmmm, recently i've been going crazy over this HonG Kong drama.
Titled: Miao Shou Ren Xing - Healing Hands
its actually a medical drama and it inspired me even more to work in the medical line in future...haha....

IM SO LUCKY THAT....
i happen to find this song, which is one of the many songs in the show...
song title: NO Matter
It never fails to touched my heart whenever i hear it...

Lyrics:
Doesn't Matter who you are with
Doesn't matter where you are going
Don't you know I'm still waiting here for you
And Pray for you

In the sunny days, Suns will light your day
In the windy days, When will lead your way
I have to say, you're my treasure moments
Never gonna walk away

In the rainy days, rains will share my tears
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain
Just go your way and leave things all behind
Spread your wings and fly away

I'm pretending you are mine
I'm wishing you'll be mine
The moments we share never die
You've make a difference to my life

the lyrics itself is also rather toughing...
and it fits into what i'm feeling now...

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

2:04 AM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

haven been blogging for long le...
been rather busy
and also there's so many thoughts and feelings bottered inside me...
but it just cant come out...

just feeling empty these days...
especially today...
this is the first time my sis left me at home and she went to CHINA...
im so bored the whole day...
no one to bicker with.
no one to distub.
no one to make me laugh like mad.
no one for me to bully.
argh!!! its only the first day she left....
im going to suffer alone for another 8 days more....
and i detest loneliness....since im quite a talkative one...

other than that,
there are also other causes making me felt empty...
just felt so neglected all of a sudden...
dunno whats the reason also...
by her and by him...
i just dunno when did it start...maybe should be from the incident i guess.
just realise,
things just cant be the same as before if it has broken;
even though its being mended and it seemed flawless.
there will still be a barrier in between...and it cannt be easily forgotten....
haish~ and i think its drifting furthur apart everyday day....
it really hurts u know...

and also about him,
i made a bet with myself.....
but it was not fulfilled...
and so i thought of giving up...
who knows, it seemed that heaven was playing with me eh...
the next morning, my heart just melted when once i just entered and i saw him...
my heart melted...
it started to work again...even faster...
my mentally tired brain came to life...
(since i was dead before as i slept at 4am the day before for the PQ)
and there, met him so many times(broken record)....not purposely one wor...
plus saw him running...lol...my heart vapourised this time...
but i knew that, its impossible after all.... eekkk!!!
so just cherish the moments bahx....

ok, and also yesterday (fri) has sports day!!! RONO climbed all the way from bottom to second place. was happy and this is my first time cheering so high and take notice of everything throughout the sports event. i guess this gonna be my last time as well bahs...loll...

then yesterday, also had quite an enjoyable time with my cadets....the firemen came and taught them. i was only there to co-ordinate, mobile and discipline them...glad they were enjoying and i wish all the best to them for their fire test next wed ( expect all of them to pass) before im going to stop my duty for a period of time.... also taught them the proper uniform etiquette (finally was given the time to tell them), gonna expect sth better next week eh....if not...heh heh people...

ok, thats all...shant waste any of my time to find things to fill my heart....
let it be filled naturally bahx....

nights=)

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

12:18 AM

Friday, May 16, 2008

since i was tagged, then do lor....

1) do you wish to get married?
no. if it leaves me a burden and add on to my stress in life.

2) what do u want the most now?
a good sleep for long hrs....but i just cant (argh, its insonmia)

3) who is the person u trust most?
no one. not even myself.

4) do u think u have enough confidence?
hmm...it depends on situation.

5) what is the very one thing u want to do now?
slack.....

6) are u satisfied with yourself?
not really...

7) what are u afraid to lose now?
true company...i detest loneliness...im feeling empty now...

8) do u believe in eternal love?
no. no one has proved me so...
i will believe it, when it happens to me...

9) what will u do if he/she hugs u?
do nth...shock, nervous but happy like crazy(emotionally)

10) who do u wanna see right now?
him....

11) what kind of people do u hate?
bossy people....insensitive of people's feeling..

12) what feeling do u hate the most?
being accused of doing things that i never...

13) do u trust every friendship of yours?
obviously not! do you?

14) do u treasure ur family?
definetly... blood is thicker than water mahx....

15) d0 u think turtles are cute?
dont think turtles are cute in the very first place.

16) what do u regret most in ur life now?
for having such a rigid and conservative thinking.

17) why are u doing this quiz?
because feel like letting out..

18) why is it difficult to let go of the one u love?
because i longed for that feeling and i don wish to let go..

19) what is the main important factor that makes u have a love for a person?
sense of security that i felt...

20) which qns do u think the last person have changed?
isnt't it the obvious?

Instructions:Remove 1 question from above and add in ur personal question.
Make it a total of 20 questions.
Tag 8 people in ur list.
List them out at the end of this post and
Notify them in their chatbox that he/she have been tagged.
Whoever gets the tag, would have a blessing from all.

tagged!!!
bao ru
mahmmudah
victor

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

8:55 PM

Monday, May 12, 2008

hee....im back again... its monday early morning...lol
just finish my econs mugging and just cant get to sleep...
so im here to help me to hypotise myself...

anyway, other than mugging for econs like mad,
i had a family gathering at my mum's side to celebrate "MOTHERS'S DAY"!!
everyone contributed by bringing food and it churns up to 2 tables of dishes...
lol...it was alot...and of coz i ate alot..especiallly my fav duck & curry chicken was there...hee...
guess that all my layer fats just went back to me in a night..haha...
but it was alright la since later on im having PE...
had an enjoyable time there with all my cousins...
haha...wondering in the future if all of us grew up, will there also be gatherings organised oftenly like this?
MUST ok?? lol....

And here is the cake for all our MOMS!!!

if were to look carefully, the fruitful strawberries form a heartshape...
haha...even the cake is so " fu man"..lol....YUMMY!!!

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

1:05 AM

Friday, May 09, 2008

today just had my chem test....unable to complete stilll....
just hope my effort is put in and at least past bahx...

hmm..today we got our class jersey le...

ok nahx...the colour is more to dark purple than maroon....
cause im sick and scared to see maroon le....hate that colour in my life...
have to admit, its quite nice though..but got to comment abt the neck part...
the neck is so small...or is my neck thick?...its quite uncomfortable there...
oh ya, the sleeve also very long...probably because its MEN's cutting bahx..
but i think overall it looks better than the first shirt we made...
of coz nahx...the prize also "better"...hahaa....

other than that, i also wanna share my artistic drawing...haha...

just found in one of my raft book when i need paper to write my notes...
guess it was drawn last yr....haha...yea, it potrays my "Dream Date"...

ok, ending here...must go study for GP politcs content...

i MUST PASS!!!

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

11:14 PM

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!....JUST FEEL LIKE LETTING OUT!!!

Feeling so STRESS up now....
Feeling so helpless....

Sudden feel of giving up running the race...
I need a helping hand to get me out of the deep-rooted hole!!!!
So many major exams next week..on the same day somemore....ahhh....
HELP~~!!!!!! { suffocating} .......... =(

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

8:46 PM

Monday, May 05, 2008

long time no blog le....
been rather busy lately though....
many tests are coming up....
1.chemistry ( galvanic & electrolysis)
2.maths (vectors)
3.econs ( macroeconomics)

eeekkkk!!!!haven started chem as usual....
at the same time, feeling worried for econs! (so many chapters to cover).
but something to be happy about is....i have mastered vectors!!!! haha....
at least my weekend has paid off......

an end to all abt those " future" worries,
and looking back the day in sch....
nth much really happen. but.......
this morning, we were standng on the track for abt 45 mins to listen to the p crap..
i missed my P.E....
he also mentioned abt the : "contigents of late comers".....lol..
that was funny la... can guess there are alot of late comers bahx....
haha, luckily im not late today....
but many ppl asked, : eh, suhui u not late mei?...."....lol...of coz im not...
i have my motivation to come to sch punctually now...
risked my life by dashing across the road....
ran to school like hell....inorder to reach to school in 1 min before the gate closes....
what a day...where so many ppl are late {MONDAY BLUES}....haha...

ending here le, nth much to say actually....just crapping arnd.
gtg go do rnx kinetics le...don wanna get scolded again for slacking.. =x

♥ i fell in love with u unknowingly...

7:20 PM